The Dark Shadow

Read: Psalm 27; Psalm 91; Colossians 1:9-14

It’s been dark for months, maybe not literally, but very real emotionally. I have felt as if there is this shadow over my life that no matter which way I turn I can’t get away from it. I’ve desperately wanted it to lift or move away. I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’ve learned when you really get to know others well you learn everyone has a shadow of their own – at least one time or another.

My shadow has been dealing with breast cancer, but it hasn’t been the actual illness that seems to haunt me. It’s what comes after – dealing with the changes that have occurred throughout my body, not feeling like I’m the same woman anymore, dealing with the financial burdens, and the never ending doctor appointments – still after almost two years. Some days the shadow is encapsulating.

This morning I was reading Psalm 23. I’ve read this Psalm many, many times but this morning as I read, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,” I could actually feel the shadow, and could see it over me as I’ve been traveling through the valley. Describing it would almost be too dark to write. As I was thinking about this shadow, I was given a different insight through a paragraph written in a Bible study I’m working through. “It has been said that where there is a shadow there must also be light.”1 I knew in my heart instantly that the light for me was that of God Himself. The shadow that I have been thinking is this darkness might possibly be just the shadow of God’s hand as He is with me on this journey.

Here are a few verses that helped redirect my perspective:
Psalm 27, verse 1 says – “The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The LORD is my strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?” Another verse that I need to put to memory is John 8:12 – “Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” James 1:7 tells us that He is Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

I’ve been looking at this all wrong. I’ve allowed myself only to focus on the broadness of the shadow, and what it seemed to represent, instead of looking at the source of the light, and by which the shadow was formed. I thought to myself, “If this shadow represents God’s presence during my journey in this valley, do I want it removed? Maybe this shadow is not to have been to bring a gloom but a protection from harmful effects of this disease?” As Psalm 121:5 says – “The LORD is your keeper; The LORD is your shade at your right hand.” When I think of shade I do think more of protection. I believe it’s more about the type of perspective you have. I would rather have the shadow, or the shade, from God’s hand during a difficult time. I can’t imagine if I wouldn’t have felt His presence, knowing He was with me during one of the most difficult times in my life.

Just realizing this truth has brought a peace to my heart that is hard to explain. It’s just as Psalm 18:28 says, “For You will light my lamp. The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.” Sometimes it’s not our situation that needs to change but how we see the situation. As Paul prayed for the Colossians, it is my own prayer for myself that I may be filled with the knowledge of His will, in all wisdom and receive spiritual understanding.

I’ve allowed myself to rest under the shade of His protection.

“The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2



1 – 1997 Janis Vance and Linda Osborne – Harvest Bible Study/The Life of David, Lesson 1, Page 13